Pantry Projects: weekend chillax'n

Thin-crust pizza

1 tortilla
2-3 Tbsp spaghetti sauce
whatever olives you have in your pantry
whatever unsalted, raw nuts...
handfull diced onion
2 cloves diced garlic
goat / feta / mozzarella cheese

construct like a pizza
bake @ 350°F until outer crust is lightly toasted  ~12 min

Sangria punch

1 cup sliced strawberries

1 sliced orange

½ peeled, sliced cucumber

(or whatever fruits you have left at the end of the week)

water

ice

french berry soda or fruit juice

throw fruit into pitcher, add equal parts of water, ice and french berry soda, then chill for an hour and enjoy

Pantry Projects: über mac'n'cheese

 I was supposed to teach my friends how to cook... so, after a year, i'm putting it all out there, so we can finally get started


Part of this also comes from showing my friends that making it yourself is actually cheaper than constantly buying packaged goods


This I dragged outta my pantry and fridge: buncha pasta left over, left-over dry salami, my favorite cheddar (which is the only thing I didn't have on hand), and for this I use coconut milk (if you've ready previous postings). You can use whatever milk you usually use, but if it's a milk alternative, make sure it's plain and unsweetened.. I prefer coconut milk cuz its oils makes it very similar to regular milk

 First, boil pasta per label instructions

strain and put in casserole dish

I'm using bacon grease in my béchamel, cuz i rarely bother to buy butter anymore

use 2 Tbsp butter and ~1/3 cup flour

With heat on med heat, blend

this is called roux

~1 cup milk of your choice

dice up ~3/4 - 1 lb of sharp cheddar - I use proper cheddar that crumbles... modern cheddar has been designed to melt better, or you can use velveeta, but it's comparatively more expensive anymore... it's better to do this before you need it, cuz once the milk heats up in the pan, it thickens pretty quickly

Add the milk to the roux
whisk the roux with the milk

WATCH OUT! even on medium heat, if you're using regular milk, it will start to bubble really fast when it gets hot!! be ready to turn the heat down when it starts foaming... and if it starts rising too quickly, just pick the pan up gently to immediately remove it from heat

stir frequently until it thickens to the likeness of gravy

and you've got béchamel

toss in your cheddar and stir - 

now, if you're using crumbly cheddar, put the heat on really low - if it heats up too much or too fast, it will separate... 

modern melty cheddar, low simmer heat is fine - BOTH : stir frequently until it's melted and smooth

 I've used anything from ground lamb to diced ham,

chopped deli ham slices, hotdogs, sausage, bacon.... 

doesn't matter, it's pig and it's going in... 

HERE's where you'd add some salt and pepper, 

maybe a seasoning blend... i'm not for once 

because of the sharpness and saltiness of my 

cheddar and the seasoning the salami already has

mix gently... pour 1/2 over noodles and fold... 

then the other 1/2 and fold again 

this just keeps it from dripping all over

tomatoes normally go on top, but so far, this meal for 6 cost me ~ $5 for just for the cheese, the rest was already sitting around

Ventilation

Today is not a day of cohesive thought; it's a day of bombardment of all that ugliness that's been silent for so long, is right now being kicked up and thrown around. I refuse to play at this point; I don't want to think of humans, look at humans, be around humans: the destruction and intolerance, the irrelevant opinions swathed in vehemence, the hypocrisy and illogical projection of hypocrisy, the non-answers and the violence in response to violence.

If everyone wants personal liberty, then why are they subjecting others' decisions to public deliberation, and chastising those who seek prevention over retaliation. They don't want to be scrutinized for their actions, but throw unwarranted scrutiny at others' actions. Whether it be by privacy or non-judgmentality, the ultimate goal of freedom is not being subject to the expectations of others, and not forcing one's own expectations on everyone else - save for integrity. I expect integrity, because I know how easy it is to practice.

I am sad... just sad, and disappointed

History vs Mythology

There are a lot of Sunday-school assumptions most people make about the Bible and actual history of Christianity; or else they disregard the Bible and history in lieu of unsubstantiated theories concerning 'God's Will' to justify what fails to corroborate. There are quite a lot of cop-outs that I've run into that people want to cling to, which is well and good, but don't presume to call it fact or history - it is neither - it is simply what believers chose to believe.

There were a few marked things I noticed when reading the new testament through after having delved into the apocrypha: Jesus was a jerk. The myth of this Buddha-like personage of peace and forgiveness fails to appear on the pages where the man himself plays a speaking role. He's angry, he's mean; he berates and insults his friends and his family, he disregards non-Jews. The tone he uses is not of prediction, but of ordering his followers to do things they don't want to do, and they beg him or assert that they won't do it (he intends to purposely 'fulfill' old testament scripture, as was the trend in the day - to force God's hand to act in favor of his people). I'm actually quite surprised I've only seen one other person make note of this, because it's quite blatant... I honestly think that most people who actually read Matthew, Mark, or Luke glaze over the words and just recite their own happy narrative mentally.

The second is the distinct difference between what comes out of Jesus' mouth in the 'synoptic' gospels and what Paul and his followers make of him and his 'teachings' after he dies (assuming he didn't use a stunt double on the cross). This, again is so noted by historians who aren't playing to a church paycheck, that two distinct movements are usually defined: the followers of Jesus, and the followers of Paul or Christianity. There is argument over whether the Gospel of Thomas is the missing source X used in compiling the gospels, but it may be the closest reference to the actual teachings of Jesus.  I just stumbled on this page while writing this blog, entirely by accident; I was actually looking for a specific quote on another point I planned to discuss, but, the universe flows... http://www.voiceofjesus.org/paulvsjesus.html

What I was looking for were specific quotes from the early Greek-Roman philosophers, the concepts of which impacted the perception and definition of the Western concept of the Christian God more thoroughly than the definitive pages of the old testament. This website describes the evolution of where Greek thought influenced Christian ideology, which I suppose is better: http://www.iep.utm.edu/god-west/

Which begs the question: if God is universal, then would it matter who's pre-Christian ideas of God were later enveloped into Christian mythology? But it does, logically. If God were universal, the Jews would not need to be the chosen people, then nothing is substantial at all about Jewish history, theology or their prophecies... without those, then Jesus is not a prophetic figure of any sort of substance (any more than any other culture's), because there's no longer a basis for him to be 'chosen'. Either way, Jesus means nothing to non-Jews, or those unwilling to abide Jewish law, history, mythology, and prophecy. Without the Jewish struggle, there was no cry for redemption or salvation beyond the apocalyptic attitude it developed from Zoarastrianism, embraced from being occupied by foreigners... what are Jewish struggles to Hellenists and Romans? Nothing if you don't convert them to the likes of the time's contemporary mystery/resurrection cults built on Hellenic traditions (populated by people alienated from their homelands amid the sea of the Roman Empire, looking for somewhere to belong) which included the confession of sins, baptism, initiation, being subject to the service of a 'savior' god, as well as a 'sacred marriage' which united a savior god/goddess (which Paul changed to the Church). The non-uniqueness of Christianity is not an indication of its universal 'correctness'... it is an indication that it is simply not special. Except perhaps to say that the man for whom it is named did not actually start the religion.

Vegan Brownies

after reading reviews of the fail vegan brownie recipes out there, one user made ingredient recommendations that i somewhat heeded in making mine...
NOTE: this is vegan except for the nutella, which has milk, but i can't resist it, feel free to substitute or omit

1c. flour
1 Tbsp flax seed meal
½ c. cocoa powder
¼ c. brown sugar
¼ tsp baking powder
½ tsp salt
½ tsp cinnamon
½ c. raw almonds
½ c. semi sweet chocolate chips
¼ c. safflower oil
¼ c. nutella
¼ c. warm water
1c. apple butter/sauce (1.5 lb apples peeled/cored/chopped / 1c. sugar / ¼ tsp cinnamon, dash ground cloves/salt - put dry ingredients over apples in slow cooker 12 hrs; high 1st hour, low 11 hrs, stir occasionally)

preheat oven to 350°F
2 med bowls: in one, sift together dry ingredients except almonds and chocolate chips
in the other, combine all wet ingredients.
fold dry mix into wet mix, don't over-work
add almonds and chocolate chips
spoon into greased 8x8 pan or 12 ct lined muffin pan
bake until just cakey but still moist (15-20 min - 10-15 for muffin pan)
remove pan and cool covered with towel

From Old Notes of Yesteryear

anti-existential exercises

I don't mean anything to him -- never have.. just those lonely moments when he has nothing else to turn to, i am always there... and i'm there because all i have are those moments...

is that enough? maybe it is not enough... but it is enough when those are all i have left, why should it be any less if i have all the world?

i've run out of things and people to fill the gap... cuz for me, like him: nothing means anything...

embrace the nothing? 

 i wrote this little mantra... and i've basically refused to allow myself to legitimize the meaning of anything - it's validity and implications (specifically) are meaningless...

if i start thinking about something, i'll stop myself, think 'no, cuz that means you're thinking (i.e. making stuff up to justify something i don't understand)... if i get emotional or defensive, i'll stop myself and think 'no, cuz that means it means something'... and i take a deep breath, and think about sunflowers or gaillardia and some faceless chick with long brown hair strolling in a field of flowers instead

and if i want to tell him something or send him a pic or something funny, i just think about all the emails i just deleted from my sent box that he never replied to, and that post i had on his profile that was the 2nd post he ever commented on in 2 years... and i tell myself 'fuck it'... i think about gaillardia and a chick strolling through a field... and carry on doing something else, cuz whatever i wanted to put out there doesn't mean anything... just the field of flowers and the girl with the long brown hair

the gap is disappearing... not being filled.. but imploding...

Food for Krampus

got my list of food to serve at a post-xmas party:

MARINATED BACON-WRAPPED STEAK/SHRIMP SKEWERS
BLUE CHEESE & LEEK-TOPPED YAMS
CHICKEN PAI MAI
ARTICHOKE TAPENADE / LEMON ARTICHOKE DIP
IRISH CHEDDAR MAC N CHEESE
COCONUT MILK RASPBERRY FOOL

CRANBERRY SAUCE
LAMB W/ CHERRY REDUCTION
HOMEMADE STUFFED MUSHROOMS

NEW MEXICO GREEN CHILE TAMALES

mixed drinks:
White Sangria
tequila sunrise
vegan eggnog-ish rum drink

Pics will be forthcoming - well... was too drunk to take any... sorry