going over basics

As a follow up to an exercise with terms let's review a few from a biblical context.


Many may be familiar with the concept that the term messiah means 'anointed one', being no one in particular save the 'crowned' ruler of the Jewish people, usually from the line descended from David. This term is not applied to rabbis or priests, and the station being occupied by someone in the priestly elite was not only unorthodox, it was reserved in part by Levites. It also has some very important aspects commonly over-looked by non-scholars: the first being that Jesus, as a pretender to the Jewish throne, and thereby one who may be deemed under the general term 'messiah', was only thus if he was directly related to his worldly father Joseph, who's patrilinear descent from David is commonly known (otherwise his brother James would have been deemed the true scion of the Davidic line, and thereby the true Messiah); the second is the nature of the relatively recently adopted apocalyptic attitude of the time where it was believed that a king would come who's reign would force all those foreign nations of the world to cower before Jewish law and thence redeem the world from its sin (in so many words, but the nationalistic attitude at the time spelled out by the zealots simply said it in nicer terms) -- redemption from sin in Jewish terms means living by the Law.

In taking terms that have previous meaning in a society and expanding it's boundaries to encompass what later becomes a philosophical concept or other is a form of creating elite-speak. Other such terms may be applied to things like pigeons, the Meek, the Poor, Messengers/Angels, the Holy Spirit. The Poor and other specific terms often used describe not the homeless beggars commonly believed, but more likely ascetics who have cast away possessions, wear white, lime-washed linens, and dwell in the "wilderness". Lamsa's enlightened reflections on idioms used in the Gospels are close to what historical researchers believe they meant. 'Angel', for instance, according to both Lamsa and biblical scholars, refers to members of the priestly elite.

The terms don't just stop at nouns, but also ways of describing time. Great and lengthy care has been taken to reconstruct the Gospel events by some biblical scholars in conjunction with the Peshers found in the Dead Sea Scrolls. At the time spanning the last centuries of BC and first century of AD, there were a number of different temporal reckonings: the solar, lunar and lunisolar to name a few. Each reckoning shifted the dates of years based on whether they recognized a 0 year from when a prophecy was made and when it was supposed to be fulfilled. Also varying in the length of the year, some made up for the leap year in a solar calendar with an extra 10-day period every dozen years. Terms like 'about' indicated a full day previous and the word order determines which hour on whichever numbered day of the week. 'One of these days' indicates the first day of the month, as each day is referred to as a number, and each week will have the same numbered days of the month on the same day of the week every year, even with a leap year (so the last day of one month could be 10 days away from the first day of the next month). In the leap on one of the calendars in use, a half-day was observed as hours shifted through daytime, and therefore the 3rd hour, or 9am, could be observed as being at 6 in the morning during certain times of certain years before a leap brought the times back round to "normal" again. (Please shoot me now, they must have been so incredibly bored to be able to keep track of all this.)

Moving on, some idioms presented by Lamsa (these being colloquial expressions, not quite as esoteric as what may have been the period's elite-speak):
"Went up to God" - went to a high place
"Satan" - adversary, dishonest man, to stay, to slide, to mislead, to slip, to mis the mark (in greek, the term we get 'sin' from)
"Angel" - pious or holy man, God's council, a messenger, a minister
"Flame of fire" - speed, prompt action; fluency in speech
"Living water" - true teaching
"Bread of life" - eternal truth
"Darkness" - ignorance and superstition
"lambs", "sheep", "ewes" - children, adults, women
"Staff" - protection
"Mountains and hills leveled" - proud, arrogant men humbled
"Touch his garment" - an urgent need
"Horn" - strength and triumph
"Carcass and eagles" - weak nations and powerful nations
"Held him by his feet" - implored him
"Plant" - teaching, doctrine
"take children's bread and cast it to dogs" - sharing the truths of Judaism with the pagans
"Hell" (Sheol) - resting place for the departed ones
"virgin" - a girl who has known no man, also an unmarried woman
"be perfect" - all inclusive, thorough
"bury my father" - take care of my father until he dies

too much more to type,
i'm gonna go sleep now

Unfinished

Play with words

I wielded a double-edged sword in phrasing that continuities are all too apparent... this, aside from the affirmation of connection between similar aspects, also ascribes that I lack the discretion to discern a substantial enough difference.

Alas, there are important similarities, and it must be known that all things human, as all things are in the universe, are ever-evolving, and ever-changing.

The first thing I want to do before presenting any religious ideas is present a little exercise in the use of language. I've always been a very literal thinker, and my association with words and phrases often puts me in an odd position because things are said that I'm meant somehow to understand some colloquial association or double meaning that I fail to grasp, seeing the terms literally.

So, in reading the past year or so, I've forced myself to pull out the common phrases that writers, scientists, and scholars use and realize how absurd they are in a literal sense (making it doubly difficult to read a British English translation of a French work published 50 years ago, for example); this of course meaning not their colloquial application, but their original, root context, and in some circumstances, it includes the actual term-applying process when dealing with more esoteric topics (elite-speak). One thing I found to start is how ridiculous latin terms are as a means of general communication; they are a rather overly-poetic form of description and labeling, and many of our modern and technical words come from Latin or Greek, of course. In fact, and in odd coincidence, their descendant forms have very different contexts, even within related modern languages...

... and though I find linguistic progressions fascinating, I tend to put other people to sleep, so on to the exercise:

dead man walking
one in the oven
going nuts
relative/ism (at least three different technical meanings that are not directly related and even rather misleading)
jigsaw puzzle
objective

yeah, we could keep on going, but I'm sure you get the point (and of course when I sit down to do this, all of them escape my mind); and it doesn't just stop at short terms... but instances like describing continents as shuttling cargo, ants commanding armies; my favorite is how I might try to describe anything I did at the lab, no matter how simple it actually was, but it sounds so complicated and impressive simply because of the terms I have to use to describe it: it requires terms and concepts with which laymen are not readily familiar.

That's the important part... when terms are made up or borrowed, turned into something meaningful... when later people read them, which do they conceptualize?

"there was a discharge and later he died"

This could mean any number of things, and even more so now that the term is now applied to aspects of society and technology. We would assume there would be background included in surrounding text.

"a battle ensued, and the guard failed, and one innocent was hit and wounded"

a discharged weapon leading to a death?
the wound was infected and led to his death?
the guard was discharged from service and later died?

The key to knowing is either in knowing the most common usage for the term 'discharge', or else having a less limiting source of information...
this may all seem properly ambiguous, but to those who are among the elite for whom the text is written, there is an understanding despite the outward ambiguity; the understanding is either of the situation itself or of the terms involved to describe it.

If this seems far-fetched, consider one interesting thing about history: Europe's most famous romance: King Arthur. A man so famous in his time that nothing was written about him. Songs were written for him, but no one knows what they mean, everyone assumed everyone who would hear knew enough to know about him. And the killer is that (haha, snuck one in on you) he may have been known under this title or that (historians have only that to debate on), and even what may be his name referenced by even a contemporary Roman official, is still only a title of sorts. The only thing that can be said for certain is that he fought, died and the next generation of people on what's now England started naming their kids Arthur.

Gnostic Intermission I

Breaking from the recitation of gospel, it seems fitting to include a bit of opinion, reflection, real or assumed history, and just overall random scription.

Most people of the here and now begin learning about Gnosticism and the alternative scriptures when beginning with lesser-known aspects of history brought up in The Da Vinci Code, as referenced therein to Holy Blood, Holy Grail. I, on the other hand, had happened upon the documentary put together by the British authors of Holy Blood, Holy Grail long before the subsequent best-selling novel was on bookshelves; sometime in either 1998 or 1999. In my reading of biblical history, I have realized that non-historians are far better at accumulating fact and drawing logical conclusions from it than seasoned historians who fixate on an outcome and draw their own exaggerated conclusions from minutia rather than objectively indulging all sources.

It also became overtly obvious several general facts which are not commonly known to even most college graduates; granted graduates may be proficient in their fields and Liberal Arts Studies only further consilience in a mind towards which the tendency already leans, it is rather intriguing with all that is known, so much has been outright ignored for so long for reasons of sheer disassociation or desire for prestigious ignorance (here meaning a deluded investment in the presumed predestination of human kind), the latter being horribly ironic (to be explained in a later episode).

Interestingly enough, everything that may have been considered Christian Heresy, or even the equivalent in Jewish terms, has been reiterated by separate traditions inadvertently carrying on those early, heretical traditions while rabidly admonishing them from time to time.

I think the most concise review of the life and times of Jesus can be found in the book on the Cathars under the family reading list. He sticks to accepted history, but never fails to mention distinctions between what church goers and seculars generally know about that time and place and what is deliberated between historians. I would love to paraphrase from the book, but I've sent it on to share the knowledge.

There is work in historical linguistics attributing the terms such as 'angel', where their meanings have followed them through time. An angel is a messenger of God, in its Greek etymology; and thus has been suggested (the author I'm actually looking for, buried in one of my books' bibliographies) that each angel's name is representative of a station within the temple; this is how the "same person" could be living generation after generation, an "immortal" entity acting as a go between from God to man, a holy man who dwells in the temple, one who has ascended to God.

There are a couple of marked exiles and exoduses of the Hebrews. The first is mentioned and analyzed at great length in Holy Blood, Holy Grail: one of the tribes goes against the tribe of David, turning a blind eye to Sodom and Gomorrah (if memory serves). There is known to have been goddess worship among the early Hebrew tribes, be it borrowed or inherent, and the mystical traditions associated with Kabalah would confirm the otherwise overlooked importance of the female aspect (a particular aside here, that the female aspect seems to function covertly in conjunction with the Holy Spirit's habits: always covert, driven to the point of seeming self-evident, but never relinquishing its mysteries...). The goddess worshipers among the Jews may not have been favored (as the favored form of Judaism today no longer indulges it, having disassociated itself with it in most aspects long ago), and Paul and Peter's misogyny remained intact in the development of Roman Catholicism (Catholic means universal, distinguishing itself from the Orthodoxy without removing itself from it).

It is generally accepted by historians that Paul (and subsequently his collaboration with Peter) was the first heretic; his principles, even as he states them in his writings, are him speaking, and rarely ever attributed or associated with the teachings of Jesus. It is generally accepted that Mary Magdalen was among the disciples, and that Peter disapproved.

The Roman church was not that popular for the first five centuries or so... at all, until they swindled a king into their favor, only then to turn and supplant his family later (either by ignoring sedition or provoking it), and here we get the now infamous Merovingians. The Goths, Visigoths and others pouring into the broken boarders of the Roman Empire were not the heathens that most people generally assume. They were Christians... albeit Arian Heretics
"Pertaining to Arius, a presbyter of the church of Alexandria, in the fourth century, or to the doctrines of Arius, who held Christ to be inferior to God the Father in nature and dignity, though the first and noblest of all created beings. " I believe they are also considered to be dualists, though there is a distinction mentioned in the book on Cathars between absolute equality between the Supreme Godhead and the Darkness and the presumed discord in all of physical existence (humans having a good soul and a bad, infectious soul that must be purged).

The most thought provoking fact I'm now indulging in, is the influence of Zoroastrianism on the religious philosophy of the Middle East. Add Hebrew history and names, a bit of Greek terminology and Stoic philosophy, a touch of one man's life and an apocalyptic cultural mood with people on a mission to get their lives back, you've got Christianity. Or so it seems to me, but I'm not a practitioner, so continuities are all too apparent to my pattern-loving mind... to be discussed when sleep has been sated.

Gospel of Thomas, 26-35

and i realize now i should have included author's notes respectively while posting each one as clarification would deem it necessary... alas

26. "Let there be among you [such] a prudent man : when the fruit arrived, quickly, sickle in hand, he went and harvested it. He who has ears to hear, let him hear!"

27. Jesus saw some children who were taking the breast : he said to his disciples: "These little ones who suck are like those who enter the Kingdom." They said to him: "If we are little, shall we enter the Kingdom?" Jesus says to them: "When you make the two [become] one, and when you make the inside like the outside and the outside like the inside, and the upper like the lower! And if you make the male and the female one, so that the male is no longer male and the female no longer female, and when you put eyes in the place of an eye, and a hand in the place of a hand, and a foot in the place of a foot, and an image in the place of an image, then you will enter [the Kingdom]!"

28. Jesus says: "I will choose you, one from a thousand and two from ten thousand, and those [whom I have chosen] will be lifted up, being one!"

29. His disciples say to him: "Instruct us about the place where thou art, for we must know about it!" He says to them: "He who has ears, let him hear! If a light exists inside a luminous one, then it gives light to the whole world; but if it does not give light, [it means that it is] a darkness."

30. Jesus says: "Love thy brother like thy soul; watch over him like the apple of thine eye."

31. Jesus says: "The straw that is in thy brother's eye, thou seest; but the beam that is in thine own eye, thou seest not! When thou hast cast out the beam that is in thine own eye, then thou wilt see to cast out the straw from thy brother's eye."

32. "If you do not fast from the world, you will not find the Kingdom. If you do not make the Sabbath the [true] Sabbath, you will not see the Father."

33. Jesus says: "I stood in the midst of teh world, and in the flesh I manifested myself to them. I found them all drunk; I found none athirst among them. And my soul was afflicted for the children of men. Because they are blind in their heart and do not see, because they have come into the world empty, [that is why] they seek still to go out from the world empty. But let someone come who will correct them! Then, when they have slept off their wine, they will repent."

34. Jesus says: "If the flesh was produced for the sake of the spirit, it is a miracle. But if the spirit [was produced] for the sake of the body, it is a miracle of a miracle." But for myself (?), I marvel at that because the [... of] this (?) great wealth has dwelt in this poverty.

35. Jesus says: " There where there are three gods, they are gods. Where there are two, or [else] one, I am with him!"

notes : darkness and light refer to unenlightened and the enlightened; being one or solitary refers to a loss of gender or becoming of both genders to be hermaphroditic like the supreme godhead and therefore becoming as the original state; poverty and wealth are actually euphemisms for classes such as gentiles, but I don't rightly recall the designations.

author's notes : ...The solution would appear to lie in the fact that the duality is in fact an aspect of the unity; for the state of "being two" is a synthesis of opposites -- male and female, upper and lower, etc. The sense therefore would appear as follows: "In that state where every pair of opposites is united in perfect unity..."

Gospel of Thomas, 11-25

11. Jesus says : "This heaven will pass away, and the heaven which is above it will pass: but those who are dead will not live, and those who live will not die!"

12. "Today you eat dead things and make them into something living: [but] when you will be in Light, what will you do then? For then you will become two instead of one; and when you become two what will you do then?"

13. The disciples say to Jesus : "We know that Thou wilt leave us: who will [then] be the great over us?" Jesus says to them : "Wherever you go, you will turn to James the Just for whose sake heaven as well as earth was produced."

14. Jesus says to his disciples : "Compare me, and tell me whom I am like." Simon Peter says to him : "Thou art like a just angel!" Matthew says to him : "Thou art like a wise man and a philosopher!" Thomas says to him : "Master, my tongue cannot find words to say whom thou art like." Jesus says : "I am no longer they master; for thou hast drunk, thou art inebriated from the bubbling spring which is mine and which I sent forth." Then he took him aside; he said three words to him. And when Thomas came back to his companions, they asked him : "What did Jesus say to thee?" And Thomas answered them : "If I tell you [a single] one of the words he said to me, you will take up stones and throw them at me, and fire will come out of the stones and consume you!"

15. Jesus says to them: "When you fast, you will beget sin for yourselves; when you pray, you will be condemned; when you give alms, you will do evil to your souls! [but] when you enter any land and travel over the country, when you are welcomed eat what is put before you; those who are ill in those places, heal them. For what enters into your mouth will not defile you, but what comes out of your mouth, it is that which will defile you!"

16. Jesus says : "When you see Him who has not been born of woman, bow down face to the earth and adore Him: He is your father!"

17. Jesus says : "Men indeed think I have come to bring peace to the world. But they do not know that I have come to bring to the world discord, fire, sword, war. Indeed, if there are five [people] in a house, they will become three against two and two against three -- father against son and son against father -- and they will be lifted up, being solitaries."

18. Jesus says : "I will give you what eye has never seen, and what ear has never heard, and what hand has never touched, and what has never entered into the heart of man."

19. The disciples say to Jesus : "Tell us what our end will be." Jesus says : "Have you then deciphered the beginning, that you ask about the end? For where the beginning is, there shall be the end. Blessed is the man who reaches the beginning; he will know the end, and will not taste death!"

20. Jesus says : "Blessed is the man who existed before he came into being!"

21. "If you become my disciples and if you hear my words, these stones will serve you."

22. "For you have there, in Paradise, five trees which change not winter nor summer, whose leaves do not fall: whoever knows them will not taste death!"

23. The disciples say to Jesus : "Tell us what the Kingdom of heaven is like!" He says to them: "It is like a grain of mustard: it is smaller than all the [other] seeds, but when it falls on ploughed land it produces a big stalk and becomes a shelter for the birds of heaven."

24. Mary says to Jesus : "Who are your disciples like?" He says to her : "They are like little children who have made their way into a field that does not belong to them. When the owners of the field come, they will say : 'Get out of our field!' They [then] will give up the field to these [people] and let them have their field back again."

25. "That is why I tell you this: If the master of the house knows that the thief is coming, he will watch before he comes and will not allow him to force an entry into his royal house to carry off its furniture. You, then, be on the watch against the world. Gird your loins with great energy, so that the brigands do not find any way of reaching you; for they will find any place you fail to watch."

NOTES: there was a lengthy explanation of the terms solitary and the reference to being two; I'll have to address it in the next installment

Gospel of Thomas, 1-10

The Coptic version of The Gospel of Thomas as it corresponds to the Oxyrhynchus Papyrus 654

Here are the secret words which Jesus the Living spoke, and which Didymus [twin] Jude Thomas wrote down.
And he said: “Whoever penetrates the meaning of these words will not taste death!”

1. Jesus says: “Let him who seeks cease not to seek until he finds: when he finds he will be astonished; and when he is astonished he will wonder, and will reign over the universe!”

2. Jesus says: “If those who seek to attract you say to you: ‘See, the Kingdom is in heaven!’ then the birds of heaven will be there before you. If they say to you: ‘It is in the sea!’ then the fish will be there before you. But the kingdom is within you and it is outside of you!”

3. “When you know yourselves, then you will be known, and you will know that it is you who are the sons of the living Father. But if you do not know yourselves, then you will be in a state of poverty, and it is you the poverty!”

4. Jesus says : “Let the old man heavy with days hesitate not to ask the little child of seven days about the Place of Life, and he will live! For it will be seen that many of the first will be the last, and they will become a ”

5. Jesus says : “Know what is before your face, and what is hidden from you will be revealed to you. For nothing hidden will fail to be revealed!”

6. His disciples asked and said to him: “Do you want us to fast? How shall we pray, how shall we give alms, what rules concerning eating shall we follow?” Jesus says : “Tell no lie, and whatever you hate, do not do: for all these things are manifest to the face of heaven; nothing hidden will fail to be revealed, and nothing disguised will fail before long to be made public!”

7. Jesus says : “Blessed is the lion which a man eats so that the lion becomes a man. But cursed is the man whom a lion eats so that the man becomes a lion!”

8. Then he says: “A man is like a skilled fisherman who casts his net into the sea. He brought it up out of the sea full of little fishes, and among them the skilled fisherman found one that was big and excellent. He threw all the little fishes back into the sea; without hesitating he chose the big fish. He who has ears to hear, let him hear!”

9. Jesus says : “See, the sower went out. He filled his hand and scattered . Some fell on the path : birds came and gathered them. Others fell on rocky ground: they found no means of taking root in the soil and did not send up ears of corn. Others fell among thorns; stifled the grain, and the worm at the . Others fell on good soil, and this produced an excellent crop: it gave as much as sixty- fold, and a hundred and twenty-fold!”

10. Jesus says : “I have cast a fire onto the world, and see, I watch over it until it blazes up!”

Sophia and the Demiurge, Part II

I was hoping to generate some questions to know where to angle my future postings, but I suppose I will just continue with my generalities... A warning: this is going to be a mish-mash of different sources, since I'm not feeling the need for precision and citation.

The Gnostic beliefs tend to be what is considered a more conservative Christianity. The books and views it shares with Romanized Christianity is the Gospel of John and their intended separation from the passions of the physical world. However, the difference in concept is that the Gnostics believed much in the sense of Stoics and Eastern philosophy in the detachment from the physical world in order to lead an enlightened life, not necessarily that all pleasures must be abstained from because they are pleasurable and thereby evil.

Since the world was created by the proclaimed adversary to the true Godhead, everything of the world and this realm is seen as being separated from the Godhead, and thereby evil. In affect, humankind is inherently of the light, and imprisoned here in these bodies, subject to the Demiurge to defile, or to detach from worldly existence to once again transcend into the light. Where conservative Christianity believes in chastity and sanctity of marriage for the sake of averting promiscuity and promoting sinlessness, Gnostic faith would indicate that marriage is evil because it inherently produces children, and subjects more souls to the scrutiny of the Demiurge, being trapped in the darkness of physical existence; additionally, that the pleasure of union is a delight of the physical realm and can become a distraction.

However proscribed these perspectives may sound, the structure of the churches and actual practices were much less cumbersome and condemning than the Catholic Church. There were three levels of belief : the Listeners, the Believers, and the Perfect. Anyone and everyone could be a Listener, could come to services and hear the sermons, no obligations were placed on you, save your sole responsibility for yourself; Believers led a chaste life insomuch as honoring marriage vows and being an upright citizen; the Perfect were those who withdrew from such common existence as proprietor or spouse - those things which required a dependence on the physical world - and gave sermons and traveled. More often than not, the common person would live their life as a Believer and upon their deathbed be given the rights to be made Perfect. There were no other specific proscriptions.

Random tidbit :

All Protestant Churches acknowledge the Catholic Church as sovereign; the Affirmation of Faith and the Apostles Creed both decisively give the procession of the "Key" from the hand of Jesus to Peter to the first Bishop and then Pope. Most historians actually consider Peter and Paul's diversions to be the first heresy, and Jesus's brother James was the true receiver of the "Key" and the first Bishop of the Christian Church.

The only prevalent Christian Church that does not believe in the procession of the "Key" to Catholicism is the Mormon Church (founded by Masons... linked to the Templars... who fraternized with Gnostics and other "heresies")

A further tangent on the Apostles Creed : the creed itself was originally the Nicene Creed, the Apostolic right was given to it by Constantius who proclaimed himself descendant of the Apostles, and, as some believe, used it to establish a validity to the Roman church since at the time it was rather unpopular, most favoring either the "Heresies" or the other Orthodoxies (Eastern and Coptic).

Sophia and the Demiurge, Part I

I realize that for the family pool of theological and philosophical discussion, I suppose I should bring to light the content of one or two books that take quite a bit of effort to read that I will not burden you with. But, here I hope to give an overview of the contents in the next few postings to give an idea and further background into the topic of Gnosticism, Coptic literature, and their related mythologies and philosophies. The particular source I'll reference first is The Secret Books of the Egyptian Gnostics written by a french historian/scholar in the earlier half of the 20th century, who published his work in the 50's to describe, in no concise manner (not to mention having been translated from french into 1950's british english), the histories of the sects behind the literature and pulling apart the technical aspects of what is referred to as the Nag Hammadi Library. The unfortunate part of the publication is that only one complete chapter of the library was translated in the book in addition to being dissected, and that is the Gospel of Thomas.

This first blog gives an over-simplified generalization of the mythologies described, which existed to different extents within different sects of Hebrew and Christian faiths as well as the obscured Hellenist- and Stoic-influenced sects which include the cult at Qumran responsible for the Dead Sea Scrolls.

The first basic premise is that there is a conscious light and a conscious dark and an ether that divides them. The dark is conscious of the light and becomes jealous of it, it tries to surge up into the light but every step it takes causes the light to go away (it's not explained that the darkness overcomes the light, but describes it as the light does not shine through the darkness but it's might is not diminished by it). The dark then becomes frustrated that it cannot be illuminated, cannot become like the light or touch it.

The next premise personifies the light, the dark, and the ether. There are different versions of the mythology depending upon the sect, but this is a generalization:

The light is known as the supreme Godhead, and as yet the darkness does not exist. An important aspect of the godhead is that it is hermaphroditic. Ether is known as Sophia, and this element is in all forms female. It gets a bit variant, because, though the Godhead is a hermaphrodite, it seems to have a heavy lean on the masculine side. The Godhead creates at will and all the creations are "of light". The Sophia decides she shall create by herself, without the "input" (yes, take it as a euphemism) of the Godhead. This creates the darkness, Elohim (as well as other names, depending on the sect), and he is ignorant of the Godhead. Elohim creates the physical world, traps the souls of angels into physical bodies, and proclaims himself god of all things. At his proclamation, Sophia bellows out to him, making him aware of his folly. In one version he simply is scrutinizing his creation and whilst ascending great heights discovers the light of perfection of the Godhead.

This all boils down to several sects of beliefs that revolve around the creator of the world itself in the physical realm as being an unenlightened act by what modern day would call the devil. In this light, the followers would then dismiss some of the Old Testament on the belief that the 'God' who was being referred to was darkness and not the Godhead.

random gnostic reference from wiki : Manichean

Muck and Drudgery to Fuzzy Cuddles

well, the last couple of weeks have been wrought with stress, in some cases in expected ways, in others not so anticipated. it didn't help that everyone i had to deal with was experiencing a similar rut lasting well over a week, and slowly, oh, so slowly picking up over the last 9 days. ::Long friggin' Sigh ::

haven't gotten the test results back yet... in this part of the world, it's far enough out of any sort of main stream that stuff has to be sent out of town (into city) to get processed... so i might be looking at as long as 4 weeks -- half way done today.

disgruntlement subsiding, things are generally leveling off into a normal work drudgery and long late evenings with my favorite fuzzy little troublemaker... who's currently content in playing with my pj draw-strings... and can do so for hours. since putting trouble 2 down, we've been letting Mr. Trouble himself sleep in the bed and he makes a point to get as much half-conscious attention as possible, then usually sets up his perch on top of me... no matter how, he manages to.

currently really looking forward to coming out west... i actually can't wait... please give me western highways... at least your speed limits aren't maxed out at 55 mph... and all the roads 2-lane with absolutely no legal passing zones... and lots of old people... and hicks who will jump out of their car and try to teach you a lesson about "proper" driving... heh...

thinking of jaunting up to vegas for a couple hours for real greek food and picking up my photo albums... haven't worked out the details yet, but since we'll be up that way...

Disgruntlement

i've settled into a disgruntlement of late... it appears my ambitions and personal freedom are limited by the inhibitions of another who refuses to take the benefits that go with minor sacrifices...
sooooo... looks like i get to all but completely alter my course and head in a determined direction once again. but now i'm rather content to just let things come and go of their own volition and float until the universe tells me to start jumping...
blah

DONE!!!

so, i can party hardy now... everything that i could possibly be responsible for in order to get into the military is now complete.... now it's just waiting on everyone else
so it could be up to 3 more months, but that gives me some travel time

lots of love
jer

suspension

one more arduous day to go... then what's left suspended can all fall out...
of course it'll take a week to do so, but then i know if my future career will be made or broken
the moment of truth... and then the suspense will be over
so, party on thursday... then possibly a follow-up party next week

trouble gone : death or dialasis

Jeremy had to put one of the cats down due to blockage and inflamed kidneys; likely having to do with kidney stones. If not, then the poor troublemaker would've been on dialasis and medication the rest of his life...
His brother misses him terribly, and is very confused, but persevering.
I have pics on the bottom of all my blog page for your enjoyment

Michaux - Misho - Mushy

well, whilst Gustov pummeled the eastern seaboard, we decided to take a backpacking expedition along the Appalachian Trail where it passes through Michaux State Forest in southern PA, just outside of Gettysburg. Albeit a comparatively short hike, i'm quite impressed with myself for enduring 6 or 7 miles of hiking in ceaseless rain, sleeping the night at one of the Appalachian Trails many shelters along the route, and hiking 7 miles back out (for, yes, my endurance sucks). The rain allowed us a relative aloneness until we reached the shelter; a nice break from the slow but busy psuedo-urbia of two lane highways with no passing zones and low speed limits full of naught but old people and cumbersome drivers. Having prepared our upper halves well for the rain, we were a bit unprepared for how much cotton cargo pants soak up water, and subsequently our otherwise water-proof hiking boots, which held all the water in quite nicely.

The stars beat out the rain some time around sunset, and there was no dry wood for a fire, but we did get our own shelter, and it was one of the most uncomfortable nights of sleep i've ever had; the pants and socks were still damp when we got dressed again, despite having been hung up overnight and even dangled over the gas stove, but were nicely dry after 2 hours of sunfilled hicking -- so a dry ride home we had, at the very least.

We didn't take the cameras with us... it's just green, green, and more green... like some fairy puked on everything. But the leaves, I hear, are set to be changing soon, so we'll have another trip up north-ish and will likely be taking lots of pictures.

traversing practicality

received news tonight regarding my employment future with the company i'm currently with as an outside contractor of sorts... i may be let go 2-3 weeks before my contract is up... or i may be added on with as much as a $200/week increase in pay...
yeah... take a wild guess what i'm hoping for.

in anticipation of this situation, i had already started looking for alternate employment: there are no other desks hiring here, there are a number in phoenix and elsewhere... and i'm looking into the military again, for now dabbling with the national guard for the part-time opportunity...

we'll see how it goes

French Toast... becomes the Universe

French Toast and Existentialism

I have not written much of late; most of my thoughts have not been of the nature of writing : no drama to relieve and only those epiphanies that are too esoteric to easily relay.

My thoughts are not so much on God but the development of religious perspective thereof : traditions, philosophical basis for theology, and the result of its inherent clash with the cultures it converts...

"... the morals we mush know will be shapen and mistaken by our falls along the way"

but in conversation... my thoughts seem to work their way in... perhaps the books I'm reading are a bit too involved...

(7:32 PM) H: and french toast is something that is hard to turn away
i have come down to the decision that i am tired of the desire's of being human, mainly the ridiculousness of human "nature" the whole breeding as a form of status and screw the idea that in order to be "someone" you have to have a someone of the opposite sex to define what or who you are

i am so tired of the human existence as to merely uninformed cattle
humanity is damned
... had to get that off my chest.... i was driving and that thought had crossed my mind

(8:14 PM) Jer: yay! anti-existentialism!!!!
you are in good company
you need to study the gnostics

(8:15 PM) H: they have the same theory?

(8:16 PM) Jer: dreams are the true reality and life is the simulacrum
they believe all of the physical world is a displacement of true reality, where souls are trapped and can only be freed from detaching oneself from physical drives and dependencies

which is essentially what original christianity was about, that and the fact that anyone and everyone could attain this salvation - which was an odd thought in the day
so, it's like budhism with an apocalyptic emphasis

(8:18 PM) H: that sounds comforting

(8:19 PM) Jer: in a way
mostly they just come to the same conclusions that the asians did long before... and then made up a lot of goble-d-gook to explain it and then Paul got the wrong idea (the first heretic) and founded the church on his own principles

in grasping the universe

1. the Tao that can be told of is not the absolute Tao;
the names that can be given (definitions) are not the absolute names
the nameless (god) is the origin of heaven and earth
the named (definable) is the mother of all things

2. the tao that can be told is not the eternal tao
the name that can be named is not the eternal name
the unnamable is the eternally real
naming is the origin of all particular things

3. as for the way, the way that can be spoken of is not the constant way;
as for names, the name that can be named is not the constant name.
the nameless is the beginning of the ten thousand things
the named is the mother of the ten thousand things

4. the way that can be "way-ed" is not the constant way
the name that can be named is not the constant name
what has no name is the beginning of heaven and earth
what has a name is the mother of myriad things.

essentially:

anything that can be defined cannot be eternal/infinite because by being given definition it inherently has limits

anything that can be said is limited by the perception of the speaker and the ambiguity of the words used to describe it

that which cannot be named (because it is eternal, infinite, and boundless) is that which is responsible for creating everything in an endless array which perpetually keeps on producing (the nature of all naturally occurring systems)

establishing definitions to reality gave birth to the limitations by which human kind may understand the world around them

when not seeking, everything is apparent

when seeking, one only sees established definitions, or redefine concepts based on established definitions

both the infinite and the defined are of the same source and it is something that cannot be perceived by the human mind (darkness)

but traversing through the darkness (gaining perception) one can come to see beyond it

(10:07 PM) H: wasn't that what i was trying to get him to see

(10:07 PM) Jer: essentially

(10:07 PM) H: he was stuck

(10:07 PM) Jer: it's Taoist
they figured that out long before greeks became philosophers
and it makes more sense than any western philosophy ever will

(10:07 PM) H: yeah
western philosophy gets stuck on things and focus only on one aspect and do not move on too fast

(10:08 PM) Jer: get some paella ere i go
they defined their focus and by doing so have always ended up in some sort of logical paradox

ever hear Jesus say this?

(9:03 PM) Jer: mwhahahahahaha
i am in possession of the ID10T awards
if you need one awarded, lemme know

(9:04 PM) H: no i am good
i know that i am being dumb but i am going to rise above

(9:05 PM) Jer: no, no not to you, to someone who deserves one

(9:05 PM) H: oh
hmmm i could post on on brandons desk

(9:06 PM) Jer: this gospel of thomas is interesting

(9:06 PM) H: what is that?

(9:07 PM) Jer: "He who does not hate his father and mother cannot be my disciple; and if he does not hate his brother and sister and does not take up his cross like me, he will not become worthy of me"

(9:10 PM) Jer: "When you know yourselves then you will be known, and you will know that it is you who are the sons of the living Father. But if you do not know yourselves, then you will be in a state of poverty, and it is you who will be the poverty!"

(9:11 PM) H: i like these

(9:12 PM) Jer: "today you eat dead things and make them into something living; but when you will be in Light, what will you do then?"

(9:15 PM) Jer: the disciples ask: "Do you want us to fast? How shall we pray, how shall we give alms, what rules concerning eating shall we follow?"

"When you fast, you will beget sin for yourselves; when you pray, you will be condemned; when you give alms, you will do evil to your souls! But when you enter any land and travel over the country, when you are welcomed to eat what is put before you; those who are ill in those places, heal them. For what enters into your mouth will not defile you, but what comes out of your mouth, it is that which will defile you!"

(9:17 PM) H: nice

(9:17 PM) Jer: mwahahahaha
it's like a mix of transcendentalism and budhism

(9:18 PM) H: its nice

(9:18 PM) Jer: "if a blind man leads another blind man, both of them fall into a ditch"

(9:20 PM) H: lol

(9:20 PM) Jer: disciples ask: "On what day wilt thou appear to us, and what day shall we see thee?"

"When you strip yourselves without being ashamed, when you take off your clothes and lay them at your feet like children and trample on them! Then you will become children of him who is living, and you will have no more fear"

(9:20 PM) H: all this stuff is so great beucase it is true

(9:21 PM) Jer: mwahahahaha
like Zen
i'm gonna make copies to send to my dad... i'll make some for you too

(9:21 PM) H: schweet!

(9:23 PM) Jer: "He who has known the world has fallen into a corpse/ a body; and he who has fallen into a corpse/ a body, the world is not worthy of him!

(9:23 PM) H: i feel like sparking john and being like....is that tool satchel rittle helping you out.....man he is such a dink

(9:24 PM) Jer: hahaha
he'll have to get back with you on that...

(9:24 PM) H: lol
i think on my last day i am going to ream him out

(9:25 PM) Jer: it will be a good thing

(9:25 PM) H: i can't wait it is all going to build up and then boom
i am going to plan it now

(9:27 PM) Jer: hehehe
this is an interesting allusion... the holy spirit is regarded as the sophia, that inherent nature which causes us to act when we are enlightened or "aligned":

"He who has blasphemed the Father will be forgiven, and he who has blasphemed the son will be forgiven : but he who has blasphemed the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven either on earth or in heaven."

(9:29 PM) Jer: evidently she holds grudges

(9:31 PM) H: nice
how would someone go about to blaspheme the holy spirit
like taking her power and not using it correctly?

(9:32 PM) Jer: erm... not listening to your gut instincts and acting contrary to your natural inclination

(9:33 PM) H: like intuition

(9:33 PM) Jer: yup
the ultimate gnosis
the tao
the mother or all things
who is ironically enough even in gnostic tradition the mother of all physical (nameable) things

(9:34 PM) H: i could understand that so far my intuition has never led me astray

(9:34 PM) Jer: yup
which is pretty much what all the rantings on my myspace page says.

(9:35 PM) H: so she is like this spirit that has seen many things happen before so she warns us with instinct

(9:36 PM) Jer: and what the cloud of unknowing says... which was written in the 13th C and considered a heresy at the time
she is the ultimate causality
and the knowledge to move from this physical existence

(9:38 PM) H: i could see why she holds a grudge because through out her existence she is always the victim to someone or something being negligent to her

(9:43 PM) Jer: well in a figurative sense... if you cannot detach yourself from the physical or wanton desires enough to be able to act entirely out of that inclination/inspiration... you cannot hope to excel at any point beyond the physical world

(9:46 PM) H: that sounds about right
physical desires are too troubling to keep up with, they make you feel out of place and out of yourself

(9:49 PM) Jer: Socrates would point out that the body is not your true self
it is this odd little vessel
to the gnosistcs, a prison confining your true essence

(9:50 PM) H: damn the body and its impulses

(9:50 PM) Jer: hehee
it seeks to survive
life feeds on life to create more of it's own kind of life

(9:51 PM) H: that is where physical attraction and spiritual attraction comes into play

(9:52 PM) Jer: yup

(9:52 PM) H: for the spiritual you need to ignore all of the bodies sense's and be patient

(9:52 PM) Jer: yup

(9:53 PM) H: physical is just mind numbingly easy, just look and there it is, anywhere you can imagine
damn the body
thats why it is hard to be a scorpio
frick'n body
trying to ignore the body for years but sometimes it tries to get the best of me
lucky for the life i led growing up or it would have made me cave by now

(9:56 PM) Jer: it is dangerous to say such things
the universe will make as truth everything that you assert
you're young still, don't be too hard on yourself

(9:58 PM) H: its frustrating i guess sometimes

(9:58 PM) Jer: "I stood in the midst of the world, and in the flesh I manifested myself to them. I found them all drunk; I found none athirst among them. And my soul was afflicted for the children of men. Because they are blind in their heart and do not see, because they have come into the world empty, they seek still to go out of the world empty."

(10:01 PM) H: so just listen to the heart and learn as much as i can to become more knowledgeable with the heart so when the time comes i will be fully satisfied because i have went through what i had and it led me to what i can be

(10:01 PM) Jer: "When one finds himself solitary, he will be full of light; but when he finds himself divided, he will be full of darkness."

(10:02 PM) Jer: "He who knows the All, but has failed to know himself has failed to completely know..."

(10:02 PM) Jer: the heart at that time was synonymous with the organ of thought

(10:02 PM) H: that calms down the fire

(10:03 PM) Jer: so zen, oh so zen

(10:03 PM) H: yay!

(10:04 PM) H: being disgusted with life can make things so difficult

(10:04 PM) Jer: "Now, when you see your appearance, you rejoice. But when you see your images which came into being before you, which do not die and do not show themselves, how will you be able to bear such greatness?"

(10:05 PM) Jer: "The body which depends on a body is unfortunate, and the soul which depends on a these two is unfortunate"

(10:06 PM) H: this stuff is soooooooooo nice

(10:07 PM) Jer: woot

(10:09 PM) Jer: from the author/translator: "No doubt the lion here represents human passions, or more precisely, the lying spirit of evil" which he covers earlier as being the deluge.... the whole interesting bit about CS Lewis's Jesus figure

(10:09 PM) H: it was soo strange because of school and the drama of life, i had forgot the one voice that is clear to me over my life.
listening to this stuff from the gospel of thomas has made me hear that again
truth through wisdom

(10:11 PM) Jer: yeah... crowley and dyer espouse similar notions
using different terms to iterate the same sort of concepts

(10:12 PM) Jer: there's a lot here that denotes detachment and withdrawal from physical demands and existence in order to reconcile with your "source" to which you return... in so many words as what Wayne Dyer uses

(10:13 PM) H: when i hear this voice i see a silhouette
is that similar

(10:13 PM) Jer: Crowley's a bit more of a poet : lies are lies because to engender an idea in words makes it dependent upon those ambiguous definitions and limitations of words, so anything that is TRUE fails to be so when uttered

(10:14 PM) Jer: again, we're back to notions of the tao
does silly putty dry out?

(10:14 PM) H: don't think it does
so the idea of words is so limited to explain them using words defiles the feeling of what they truly are and inhibits the true ness of that feeling

(10:16 PM) Jer: goes back to "truth carries the ambiguity of the words used to describe it" and that bit about definitions
as words are symbols of an idealized definition

(10:17 PM) H: understandable

(10:17 PM) Jer: who's bounds become pushed depending upon context

(10:17 PM) H: can't always relate to someone the same way with words then if you would with feelings

(10:18 PM) Jer: true
there's an entire episode of Æon Flux which had a futuristic form of humanity which communicated solely with mental imagery
leaving behind the misunderstandings of spoken words

(10:19 PM) H: but not being able to explain them in words is where they cease to be useful

(10:19 PM) Jer: i should say, mental imagery and empathic impluse

(10:19 PM) H: so in a way art would be a part of this feeling
but not everyone will feel the same but will feel something

(10:20 PM) Jer: where understanding is obtained without the need for an explanation

(10:20 PM) H: but with art there is no need for explanation because it is purely what you feel

(10:20 PM) Jer: 99% of the time arguments are simply semantic arguments in disguise
people think they disagree on a concept but really only disagree on how they choose to define it

(10:21 PM) H: that makes perfect sense

(10:22 PM) Jer: like you or i may be able to easily see the parallels of world religions and even correlations between rival factions, but their conceptions are so precise amongst themselves that they are unable to see past their own definitions

(10:22 PM) H: hmm

(10:22 PM) Jer: instead of obtaining the objectivity necessary to grasp truth
.... which is oddly what people like Jesus were trying to point out

(10:24 PM) H: they were trying to put what they were feeling into words but in order to do that they have to filter what they are feeling into what could be understood

(10:24 PM) Jer: Jesus' stint against the Pharisees is precisely that - that they hide themselves behind their dogma and hide people from their false truth to make it seem as though they;ve attained something

(10:24 PM) H: and that is where you had believers and those who defied

(10:24 PM) Jer: yup
and then you have the the distinction between what is meant by words and how they are interpreted by those hearing or reading them

(10:25 PM) H: the ignorant vs the intelligent

(10:25 PM) Jer: again, the ambiguity of words
or ignorant and enlightened
which the bible traditionally calls darkness and light